3.23.2004
is it normal to hate my sister as much as i do? i mean...the kinks she throws into this family are unbelievable. i watch my mother fly off of the handle in response to every little comment, and my father shake his head as if it were his passive parenting technique that is to blame. but why doesn't she care? is it because she attends the covenant church, doesn't swear, and is therefore guaranteed a spot in heaven? no. it is because she doesn't have to live with the mess she [seemingly] so eagerly creates each week. my father tells me i'm wrong for having so much hatred built up...that i am just tougher than most. "she is a fragile and more volatile person than you...she is just having a crisis."
newsflash: she's been "having crises" since the day they cut her umbilical cord.
i'm then reminded that i "have my share of crises" as well.
i'm sorry...my one major breakdown last year included finding out both a friend's mother passed away and that my other friend was pregnant. and what...her crisis involves God telling her that this week's internet boyfriend isn't husband material? or is it that the elementary education art class is getting too tough for her...
maybe i should have tip-toed around her a little more delicately.
either way, i'm not sure if i'll ever understand her. But "she is family"...and i "shouldn't carry around hatred."
no.
i do not know who this person they call my sister is.
so until i figure it out, i'll just ignore the audible side of their telephone fights and add some more amaretto to my chocolate pudding.
lj [9:43 PM]
