12.31.2003
YAAAY! today(ish) is the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of ¿WHaT ThE HiLL? !!!
yeah, so i'm sure you're asking, HEY! where's the new format?
*grumbles* my compy 386 has been very very sick...so it's on its way.
but i do have the CarcrashToons ready to go. (figured out the html for pics), so i'll post one of those each day
hmmm...i guess we'll take this time to revisit past blogs.
*grin*
so it took extensive amounts of persuasion (of the cookie dough ice cream nature), but i managed to convince myself to sift through all the old entries. i have but one word. "wow"
I pondered for half of my christmas break over ways in which i could present this "revisiting" experience to you, only to come up shorthanded. In utter defeat, i decided to display some of my favorite excerpts avec sarcastic commentary.
"Yearbook Style"
Shall we start at the beginning?
hmmm...not much i can say about the first few entries. these are mainly just describing my immediate familyyy...slutty grandmotherrr...etc.
it pains me to read some of these old entries and resist the urge to edit, but as i have learned in art, one must leave past works alone so that eventually they can overview everything and clearly see forward progression.
(*controls the urge to splice 273,364,923 misplaced commas*)
hmm...moving along.
[ Sunday, January 05, 2003 ] / [ Monday, January 06, 2003 ]
awww...those were the good 'ol days...filled with all night long touch footballl, "Taco Bell Bowls" and "body rolls" performed by none other than Cole.
[ Tuesday, January 07, 2003 ]
wow...that one effortlessly portrays my brother in a truthful light. it was one of the first "blogworthy experiences"
[ Thursday, January 09, 2003 ]
heheh. i really love these "Behold The Power Of Cheese" segments. cheese truly is my downfall (among other things...such as my desire to rule the world)
I used them as journal "free topic" entries this past semester in hopes of solidifying mrs. southern's preconceived notions that i am truly insane. i can only hope she read them. *big grin*
[ Monday, January 13, 2003 ]
i was intoxicated when i wrote "ANYWAYS, im busy doin other things, so for now ima let ya go."
-- i was! REALLY!
now, in this blog we also see the first clearly specified "rant". i find much humor in it, because i was undeniably irate over something that would OBVIOUSLY last no longer than 2 weeks. And, although i found humor in my inability to control such anger, i DID NOT find humor in my unnecessary abbreviations and excessive "*LoL*"'s.
[ Tuesday, January 14, 2003 ]
can i get an "AMEN"?
[ Friday, January 17, 2003 ]
yeah...i really did hate her. could you tell??
[ Monday, January 20, 2003 ]
OH GREATER JIHAD! I am so slow…
i JUST realized why we capitalized the A at the end of annA. because it's anna backwards...and the A that is usually at the beginning makes it look like its...oh wow. *stabs herself in the thigh*...i deserved that one.
[ Tuesday, January 21, 2003 ]
"ummm...i just have to say, that i LOVE the response the message board has been getting. It really brightens up my day to look on there, and read about lesbionic teachers (JACK STOLE THAT WORD FROM ME), mary cheering about penises, and john killing unsuspecting epileptic children that sporadically click links on my board."
*smile*
[ Saturday, January 25, 2003 ]
hehehh...one of the first times my anal-retentiveness about ALWAYS having 3 points (even if your third point is merely telling your opponent to refer back to 1 & 2) is exposed.
hahah...if i were only allowed to keep a few memories, i'd be sure to keep the ones with my honorary little sister, Elizabeth. I cannot recount all the hilarious times we've had in the locker room...dancing, examining our butts in those god-awful bloomers, or even just singing while bouncing on the trampolines until nausea kicked in. it pains me to leave her in 5(ish) months, and i'm really gonna miss having the "little sister i never got" around.
[ Wednesday, January 29, 2003 ]
...i haven't an immune system.
[ Saturday, February 01, 2003 ]
this one cracks me up...i was TRULY reveling in my brother's defeat
[ Sunday, February 02, 2003 ]
wow, took me about 3 minutes to realize what i was actually doing there! *kudos for creativity*
(heheh - i had forgotten about how i came to first hour without my shoes on every morning)
[ Wednesday, February 05, 2003 ]
"Ohh....lord, why do i often get the feeling that some people's gene pool was pissed in?"
hehehh
"...sometimes i just want to smack them and say, youre ugly, youre a lesbian, and youre stupid as hell, so stop looking at me... or take a picture." muahahah...there ya go jarvis
"No longer will i stand out on that basketball court and..."
hahahhh! ...i feel as if i should be saying this behind a huge podium...in front of thousands of people shouting words of encouragement and praise...and i need an
echo...ya gotta have an echo.
[ Saturday, February 15, 2003 ]
hahah! mary and i were just talking about that today! along with other...things. *chokes*
[ Sunday, February 16, 2003 ]
"hahah...like as if im supposed to stand there waiting for them with a syrup bottle in one hand, all my prescription drugs in the other, and a glassy look in my eye in awe of their faux college halo."
sometimes i crack myself up.
"WORD OF ADVICE: Dont you DARE begin to bring something up to me unless you intend to fully explain yourself to the best of your knowledge."
AMEN
[ Monday, February 17, 2003 ]
hahahh!! "THE CAGE" !! (i walked in to see cole standing in the middle of a 8 foot tall triangular piece of lattice work)
the object: "the outsiders" (usually about 5 people) throw various items (basketballs, large pieces of cardboard, ping-pong balls, plates, volleyballs...etc) into the "cage". The person in the cage must attempt to remove all of the items (which is harder than it sounds, because you have little room to move around) before "the outsiders" get all the objects in.
the catch: the person inside can only remove the objects by throwing them up and over the top of "the cage" while being pelted in the head with basketballs.
"WOOHOO! That sounds like fun, laura...but a diagram would REALLY help me comprehend what youre talking about!"
[ Tuesday, February 25, 2003 ]
"ANYWAYS, yeah, riding the float was fun, sans the inebriated people. (especially the ones that you could tell lived in a trailer and were already MAJORLY ignorant BEFORE 36 beers)"
wow, we really
DID have some fun times throwing deblunes at the drunks, didn't we john...? we HAVE to do it again this year...one last time before college...*sniffle*
[ Monday, March 03, 2003 ]
Laura [2:01 AM]
lol...i'm such a dramatic kiddo.
Laura [1:19 AM]
"we made the discovery that our history text books were ALLL wrong! ninjas DID in fact exist in prehistoric times. (they rode on t-rexes and swooped in from the sky on pterodactyls.) ...they plagued the Vikings, too. (betchya didnt know that one) and one day, in 2100, they will also attempt to slaughter any unsuspecting pizza-eating turtle that happens to meander into a time warp causing a cataclysmic explosion, resulting in the spontaneous appearance of a 21st century space station. ...its true, kiddos."
muahahah...once again reinstating the fact that I AM WEIRD!
[ Wednesday, March 05, 2003 ]
awww...lauraland! i really made little VIP passes... (they were cute...like my new miniature cam)
*sigh* ...oh to return to the days of innocent insanity
[ Friday, March 07, 2003 ]
mmm...i truly despise toothpaste art. althoughhhh...
(*ponders about how she could manipulate the situation into "art homework"*)
..."But Mrs. Heard...the glob at the top signifies me...and how i feel as if i am but one tiny, but intrical part of this universe..."
[ Sunday, March 09, 2003 ]
"we ended up at Catfish King...where i had some popcorn shrimpies and life was good."
damn, i love those things
[ Monday, March 17, 2003 ]
(#2 - Cheerleading)
*takes a breath*
...how bout them yankees?
(#2 - Prom)
muahahah. those were raw thoughts right there, kiddos. its sadly obvious how close i was to the end of my rope...
[ Wednesday, March 19, 2003 ]
lmao...geezus, what WOULD i do without tony in my life???
[ Tuesday, March 25, 2003 ]
it truly was a smart move of me -- not talking about that night.
i'm not sure people would have wanted to know about the 4-day old cake and moldy bread we chowed on during our conversation about what color smurfs...are...*clears her throat* ...moving along
[ Friday, April 08, 2003 ]
wow...giddiness avec la laurajane is NEVER good
[ Sunday, April 13, 2003 ]
i could have stabbed that DJ in the thigh...
...immediately after the ~3rd~ time he played "stairway to heaven".
[ Sunday, April 20, 2003 ]
"and yes, joseph. thats BOURBON STREET...although i guess the hypothetical prostitute could actually be DRINKING bourbon...ANYWAYS, shes MY HYPOTHETICAL PROSTITUTE!! AND SHE CAN BE DOING WHATEVER SHE WANTS!!"
muahahah...oh joseph, how i miss you so...
"stick or bounce" just isnt the same without you. (in fact, i could no longer carry on sans your presence there)
[ Friday, April 25, 2003 ]
wow...prophetic Lj really makes me laugh.
[ Sunday, April 27, 2003 ]
why couldnt anyone tell me to stop bitching?!
i find myself thinking, "geezus, make this girl SHUT UP!!"
...then i realize it's me.
"Your vociferous actions are quite sophomoric you pre-pubescent obnoxionist."
wow, daddy...good times, good times.
[ Tuesday, May 06, 2003 ]
OH MY...*gasp*
i am going to become an alumni in approx. 4 months...
*passes out*
[ Thursday, May 15, 2003 ]
ahhh...we loveee our dead bodies!
[ Tuesday, May 20, 2003 ]
i am such an existentialist...lol
[ Tuesday, May 27, 2003 ]
damn...someone ALWAYS gets in trouble out there (:P)
[ Friday, June 06, 2003 ]
AHAHA! no more cheerleading camps! in fact, no more cheerleading (at all!) after a few more games!
*Chinese schoolgirl giggle*
[ Friday, June 27, 2003 ]
j'aime New orleansssss
[ Wednesday, July 16, 2003 ]
yeah, yeah josh! you better watch your back now that i have a pool table IN MY HOUSE...
i plan to OWN you in our next mini-tournament
[ Wednesday, August 27, 2003 ]
wow...girls state was unbelievably amazing...that entry does it NO JUSTICE.
[ Tuesday, October 07, 2003 ]
my birthdayyyyy - finally LEGAL!
[ Wednesday, October 22, 2003 ]
yeah, i never posted the final version of that. - remind me and i'll edit one of these days
[ Saturday, November 01, 2003 ]
"Yeah, and Chad, if you think you are getting turtles in time back, think again. They were PRESENTS."
amen!
hahah...chad said he was coming over not too long ago, and mentioned the SNES turtles in time cartridge on the phone. i went through TONS of trouble to hide it, only to forget about it and discover it 2 weeks later in my mini-fridge.
water? old food? nahh, turtles in time.
i am ...so creative.
[ Thursday, November 13, 2003 ]
aww...ren fest. good times filled with ugly boobs and weird men.
i FINALLY saw "the king"'s pic
...wow. just wow. (loss of words - imagine that)
[Sunday, November 16, 2003 ]
this blog got the most feedback, woot!
[ Wednesday, December 03, 2003 ]
wow, you wouldnt believe how many people reacted adversely to that segment about bradley...GEEZ. Bradley is ...Bradley.
lol. we sit in biology II during lectures, and manipulate statements so they take on sexual meanings.
Pour example:
Mrs. B: burns are classified by 9's. everything is in percents...like, the torso is worth 9%, arms worth 3%, genitals 1%.
Bradley: *smirk*
Laura: yeahhh...MOST people are 1%...
Bradley: I am definitely worth 2%.
Laura: Oh yes! Whereas most guys are 1%, Bradley is 2%.
see? ...BLAH...you people are impossible.
[ Monday, December 15, 2003 ]
i have to say that i thoroughly enjoy placing random quotes in my blog. not only do they get weird reactions, but i can also go back in a year and say, "WOAH...what was <<
>> all about??
[ Tuesday, December 16, 2003 ]
since very...and i mean VERY few people responded to the messageboard....
(ya know, i just don't get it. everytime i turn around i find another person who secretly reads this thing...WHY won't anyone come out in the open about it?! OPEN THOSE CLOSET DOORS, MY CHILDREN...RESPOND! my messageboard won't bite you [that] hard!!)
back to where i was...
DUE TO THE LACK OF RESPONSES, this entry wins the "Laura MUST have been intoxicated" award.
YAAAAAY. guess i should let my random thoughts spill onto the page more often!
which leads us to:
[ Thursday, December 18, 2003 ]
hmmm...i'd have to say it was the most serious blog yet.
Some say that your writing is at it's best when you are at your worst...
...guess one day i'll see.
Now it’s time to give credit where credit is due. I will list my
<<>>
(how wonderfully redundant of me)
10. “Re: never mind but this one works” - Posted by Bahamut ZERO on 1/10/2003 at 00:47:59
9. “Hmmm” - Posted by annA on 1/8/2003 at 01:08:04
8. "Singing..." - Posted by Mary the Platypus on 1/18/2003 at 01:47:35
7. "raped and confused" - Posted by jarvis tiger on 1/19/2003 at 13:56:11
6. "*sigh*" - Posted by dork star 420 on 1/20/2003 at 14:12:00
5. "..." - Posted by Yun Gee on 1/21/2003 at 23:59:54
4. "bleh..." - Posted by instantfuckedkarma on 1/29/2003 at 13:30:09
3. "the english department" - Posted by jarvis tiger on 1/20/2003 at 13:39:16
2. "LJizzle" - Posted by NewOrleansStunna on 4/24/2003 at 00:24:49
1. "hmmm..." - Posted by jarvis tiger on 1/20/2003 at 13:45:19
*sigh*
so there ya go. a look back into the past year.
i had my low moments, high moments, goofy moments...every kind of moment possible, i think...
and i have to say, i'm happy to have shared my life with you.
never in the past have i been this dedicated to a journal-like object, and i might go as far as to say that your dedication as "fans" (for lack of better words) enabled me to find motivation...when...umm...none was to be found.
yeah...THAT was coherent
heheh - and i HATE the layout. you people were being nice when you gave it 2's and 4's. i would have rated it a -1.
i plan on working on that more.
(now that i have DSLLLL)
*smirk*
From all [one] of us here at ¿WHaT ThE HiLL?,
THANKS FOR A GREAT FIRST YEAR!
*tear*
1 year down and still going strong...for now
~iM OuT~
lj [3:01 AM]
