11.13.2003
OK…so I‘m sick…err….deathly ill…(yeahhh, that sounds better), which has been the sitch for about 2 days now (still feeling like satan on a stick), and I’m flipping through TV channels (what’s new?) when I come across a Diane Sawyer interview with Britney Spears. Now, normally, I would have flipped right past it, but she was crying…and hey! I like seeing sluts cry. So D.S. was nodding (seemingly) sympathetically in response to Brit's tear-fest about this past year being so “hard”…and I found something strange about the whole thing. I mean…here she is…on channel 11, wiping her tears with these perfectly manicured fingers in a vain attempt to suppress the mounds of eye makeup from running down her face, whining about how her ‘relationships’ have gone bad…and I’m supposed to feel sympathetic?? OH, that’s right….Britney’s got it bad, let me run out and buy an album, and support exposing crude lyrics and dance moves to young girls. Woot!
OK...so maybe the construction of this bitchy soapbox was due to the over-exposure of daytime television, (montel and oprah tend to drain you) Or maybeeee...I was just born without the ability to empathize with
hypocrites.
The world may never know.
Moving along…
Don’t ask me when I’m going to blog. I’ll write when I feel inspired, damnit! Have you noticed a tiny little trend since the beginning of this thing? The BEST blogs are the ones that are not forcedddd…Yeahhhh….there ya go….now you’re catching on, kiddo.
Now that that’s been covered…
Ren-Fest. Hmmm…
I think the guys there are creepy…especially when they’re trying to tell you that your eyes are like the *stutter* sky…and your hair…is like golden thread…yadda yadda… (insert age-old cliché here)
SOMEONE STAB ME IN THE THIGH, PLEASE
And the girls? GEEZUS. I’ve never seen that many jello-boobed, dimply (new word, woot!) assed, horse-faced girls in my life?! Its like, they went there to feel pretty…so they scantily clad themselves in leather and chains, and danced (or at least attempted to) on the balconies. ACK…
Besides the smell…the overpriced food…and the ugly people, it rocked!
(:P)
(but why did I get the feeling that I belonged BEHIND the cage at the “drench a wench” booth)
Hmm…*shrugs*
And would this blog be complete if I didn’t mention ‘King Dong’? I mean…that WAS the highlight of the trip for 90% of my classmates. Some dude…with a major cock was there…and they took pictures with him…
Yay?
Best:
The Ded Bob Sho
(gotta love a sarcastic puppet/skeleton)
Worst:
The Fashion Show
(ugly people, unclothed! YES!)
Ren-Fest Quotes:
“wow…this place makes me glad I have pretty friends”
“WHAT…you can’t get it innnn? Comeon, just push it innn…”
“give the crowd a bow, zombie #1...OoOo…give the crowd a bow, zombie #1...”
“Its about to get sexy up in hereee!”
“We’re right behind the leopard lady”
“LOOK…I have NO idea where we are…OK??”
“I’m going to get you a box of tampons for Christmas”
“Nahh…by then, I’ll have moved on to better things”
As for now,
[/bitch]
~iM OuT~
(like a fat girl in dodge ball, annA)
lj [10:45 PM]
