3.19.2003
lol...okay, i was about to go to bed, but then i had this conversation.
and i do think it won the "Weirdest Shit I've Ever Heard" category.
so, i just (of course) HADDD to share it with you all...
but DONT message me and ask questions about what he's talkin about...because, well, lol...i dont understand it, and neither does he. So, ANWAYS, here is a typical story, by my dear friend, Tonyyy....
tony: I've told you the "my buddy and the lady with the oranges story" right?
me: lol....ummmm....NO...
me: tell me, tell me!
tony: ok
tony: pay close attention though
tony: lol
tony: So me and my buddy are at this club called "Sanctuary"
tony: and he meets this lady who is pretty hot, but obviously like late-30's
tony: so he's like......i wanna screw an older woman......im going in
tony: so whatever.....they are doing their thing at the club, and he comes over and tells me that he is going to her place, and i have to find a ride
tony: and the rest of this story is told from his perspective
tony: ok?
tony: so, on the way home.......the lady says.....stop at the supermarket.....i have to pick some things up
tony: so, he does, and she comes walking out with two bags of oranges
tony: and they go to her place
tony: and they are screwing around a little and shit
tony: and she says "ok, im gonna go in the bathroom for a sec, and get ready"
tony: she calls him in.....and she is bare-ass naked, holding onto the shower curtain rod, ass facing him
tony: and the two bags are on the bathroom floor
tony: ok......so, she says......take an orange out of the bag, and throw it at me
tony: so he picks it up, and kinda tosses it at her
tony: and she says "NO, throw it harder"
tony: now, keep in mind, my buddy had a div. 1 scholarship to pitch for WVU until he blew out his elbow
tony: so he hits her with his change-up
tony: and she says "you throw like a fucking pussy, hit me!"
tony: so he gets into his full wind up, and throws a heater over the plate
tony: and nails her in the ass
tony: LJ........he went through both bags! lol
tony: he said by the time he was done, there were oranges everywhere
tony: and he went over to kiss her and screw her......and she was like "not tonight.....im too sore"
tony: lol?
tony: strange........but certainly the funniest phone call i've ever received at 4 in the morning
tony: that.........or the time my lesbian boss was at my house wearing the pirate parrot mascot uniform, and her girlfriend called me up asking me if i'd seen her lately
me: HAHAHAHAH...ummm....oh....gahd....
and with that...lol....ummm...
~iM OuT~
lj [1:15 AM]
